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I Want to Be a Disappointment

I'm going to say something bold: 
I want to be a disappointment.  

I want to be a disappointment to the plans others had for me.  I want to be a disappointing world changer.   I want to be a disappointment to the voices of my past telling me I can't, I shouldn't, or I won't.

Because I will.
Recent posts

Hail Hydra: Idolatry & Forgiveness

Forgiveness.  Just when you think you have it mastered, it comes back to bite you in the butt.  It may be with the same person.  It could be with a similar circumstance involving a different person.  It may be the exact same instance that you thought you forgave five minutes ago!  The point is, as soon as you become complacent in your battle to forgive - as soon as you get comfortable - anger, resentment, and bitterness will show up.
For all you Marvel movie fans, it reminds me of Hydra, one of the evil organizations Captain America fights.  Their slogan reads, "If they cut off one head, two more shall take its place."  That is often what a victory in forgiveness feels like for me.  When the anger resurfaces, it often feels twice as strong - and/or twice as devastating.

This is one thing I have learned this week as I travel ever farther from age 23.  The second thing I'm about to share sounds like I'm jumping ship, but please.  Read on.  I promise, there is a connec…

Burning Insomnia

It is 4:30 in the morning.  While a good portion of the American East Coast is rising to start another day, I haven't finished with the last one yet.  I have worked through the night, which, to be honest, is not that uncommon an occurrence for me.

That miserable pattern of lying awake staring at the ceiling, sitting up to read for a few minutes, lying back down in the dark...

...getting up to pee, flopping back on the bed...

...plodding to the kitchen for a snack...

...watching the numbers change on the clock, and wondering if sleep is even worth it at this point is all too familiar.

However, this night is different.  Normal insomnia has taken a leave of absence and filling in is a burning in my soul so deep and powerful I simply must answer it's call.  This fire, my friends, is the mark of a writer.

Tell me: have you ever felt that tightness of the chest, constricting the very breath in your lungs save just enough for the one story that begs to be told, a story no one has ever read…

A New Hope

Why do we get so excited to hear a new baby is going to be born? We don't know this person.  Not even the mother carrying the child knows the person.  Yet, the universal reaction to the news of an impending birth is one of joy.
How weird is that?  In no other situation do people, as a collective whole, get so excited to meet someone new. I mean, what if I were to walk up to you and say, "Guess what? In about nine months or so, I'm going to introduce a completely new person to you.  In fact, this person will be moving into my home.  No, no, I don't know who it is yet, and I have no idea what kind of personality she will have.  All I know is that I will be serving at her every beck and call, she won't speak our language, and I expect you to love this person and assist me in waiting on her and completely re-centering the focus of the social group onto this unknown individual."  You'd think I was crazy!  And yet, that's exactly what we do when a new baby i…

Twenty-Five & Fabulous!

I am one quarter of a century old as of two days ago!  Spunk and sass have been my ever-present companions these past few days, and I am loving it!  Because you know what?  Sarah Brinson is a fabulous person!

Sure, I'm still insecure.  Who isn't?  I'm an American woman who has access to the media.  I have no choice!  On a more serious note, I am fully aware of my sinfulness and selfishness, as well as my ignorance in many areas.  

But I am saved by grace, so I may not deserve to be spunky, but Jesus says I can anyway because He already took care of my penance.  I mean, come on!  How awesome is that?!?!?  Jesus, Savior of the world, says that I am fabulous in Him,  I don't have to look like Sharpay, and I don't have to be perfect on the inside either.  He gives me His own heart so my sassy personality can be shown off to the glory of the Father, Who gave me that disposition in the first place!

So here's some of the awesome stuff making my life so...
You may think it…

Enjoying Life After 23

I'd like to say that I finally found my writing materials that had been lost in the moving boxes, and that is why I am finally returning after my eight-and-a-half-month hiatus.  But in this age of technology and internet clouds, that can no longer be my excuse.  Food for thought in the examination of today's generation, but I digress.

When I first started my short run at this blog last year, it was because I had never dared to plan or dream past age 23, and therefore had the feeling that, in a way, my life was over.  At least, my life as I had always imagined it was over.  I had just found out that bearing children - if that was even an option anymore - was unlikely without fertility treatments.  The only dream/goal I had allowed myself after age 23 was suddenly ripped out from under me and dangled somewhere ahead in the dark mist of the future, taunting me with the possibility that, even then, it was only a mirage.
At the beginning of this blog, I had no idea just how much life…

Sad Kitty Sunday

Kitty had a hard day Sunday.  Life is hard for a 1-year-old feline.  He learned a valuable lesson that I will probably have to reteach him every few days for a while.  He learned that I am the authority - or rather, that he is NOT.  Oh, poor kitty.  For examples of my four-legged friend's outlook on life, listen to his sad diary entries below.

Cairo (the monster cat below) is not the only one who learned a lesson today from our weekend tousle.  I got fed up with him biting me and sneak attacking me.  This cat is one of the most lovable, affectionate house cats I have ever known, and he does not bite or scratch anyone else.  He has been in a dominance war with me, however, for several months.  Truth be told, I got angry, and something inside me snapped.
I was doing all the things the books and internet articles say you are supposed to do to display dominance.  We have spend months trying different tactics and none of them have worked.  Then Sunday, after ten solid minutes of fight…