Life After 23

It's not their fault - the book authors, your friends, your study leader.  I understand that.  But it doesn't make the pain ease up at all.  Anyone else who has struggled with infertility knows what I'm talking about.  You sit down to read your devotional or (God forbid!) have a group Bible study, open your book, and at the top of the page: CHILDREN .  It doesn't matter what the rest of the title says, because that's the only word you see, staring up at you like a big red light that, by turns, is mocking you and judging you. You think, "That's it, I'm out.  This whole lesson doesn't apply to me."  Or perhaps wonder what is so wrong with you that God doesn't want you to raise children.  You maybe start comparing yourself to other moms in your study group, and before long, little seeds of resentment start to germinate as you think, "Why does she get to use this parenting knowledge and I don't? I mean, I'm better than her at ...

So get this.  I'm reading in Deuteronomy for my devotional this morning, and I come across some food for thought that really has nothing to do with the devotional article's focus.  But there I am, with this cool new interpretation of Scripture that, honestly, I probably should have gotten before now. Anyway, the kicker for me this morning is Deut. 6:25, which says in the NLT, "For we will be counted as righteous when we obey all the commands the Lord our God has given us."  (For some context, Moses is addressing the nation of Israel with a final charge before he dies and the people enter the Promised Land.  More on that in the next post.)  Right off the bat, I think, "Oh, well this just describes the first part of the picture - the one where generations of Israelites (and a few converts) tried and failed miserably to earn salvation through works. This doesn't apply anymore."  After all, a good portion of Moses' entire charge is rules and regul...

Growing up, I studied the Bible a lot.  I didn't study it every day of my literate childhood, but I definitely felt guilty about it when I got out of the habit.  I'd like to say that was because I loved the Lord a lot and wanted to hear from Him as much as I could, but that was a lie I told myself for most of my life.  I felt guilty about falling out of the habit of reading my Bible for the same reason that I studied so much Scripture: I was constantly searching for the correct formula to happiness and honor. I look back over the copy of the Bible I read the most during my teen and college years, and it is covered with notes I wrote in the margins.  One of my most studied passages was the one describing what the evangelical community has dubbed the Proverbs 31 Woman.  I, like so many other church-going women, have held this group of verses up as my golden standard for the woman I want to be.  And as evidenced by the various ball point pen chicken scrat...