Forgiveness. Just when you think you have it mastered, it comes back to bite you in the butt. It may be with the same person. It could be with a similar circumstance involving a different person. It may be the exact same instance that you thought you forgave five minutes ago! The point is, as soon as you become complacent in your battle to forgive - as soon as you get comfortable - anger, resentment, and bitterness will show up.
For all you Marvel movie fans, it reminds me of Hydra, one of the evil organizations Captain America fights. Their slogan reads, "If they cut off one head, two more shall take its place." That is often what a victory in forgiveness feels like for me. When the anger resurfaces, it often feels twice as strong - and/or twice as devastating.
"Hail, Hydra!" |
This is one thing I have learned this week as I travel ever farther from age 23. The second thing I'm about to share sounds like I'm jumping ship, but please. Read on. I promise, there is a connection.
Life after 23 has taught me that idealizing people can easily turn to idolizing people. I have struggled with this realization for many months now, and anticipate continued struggles in the weeks and months ahead. While it is a good thing to look up to mentors in my life, it becomes detrimental to both parties when I raise them up on the Pedestal of Perfection.
They are human. They will fall. And the higher the platform on which they were placed, the harder the crash at the bottom will be. If the crash is large enough, my whole world can be shattered.
That is where the forgiveness connection comes in. The more you idealize, the more opportunities you will have to struggle with forgiveness, because the more hurt you will be when the pedestal breaks.
Life after 23 is teaching me that everyone has to have flaws, because we are all human. I will be so much happier if I expect even the most respected mentors to have flaws. No one is the Lord but Himself. And for the hurt that's still there, keep up the fight. Ask the Lord Jesus for help. You will need it!
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